Blite not whack

Tuesday Tidbits

2011-03-01T17:03:00.000-08:00

*Tomorrow I return to work, and Diva returns to preschool. Vacation is officially over. Hello, 5 am. Not that waking at 5 am is anything new (thanks to my early bird), but there's a big difference between being home and half awake, and making an hour long commute with a loquacious 5 year old.

* We had meatloaf muffins for dinner. I have to pimp the meatloaf muffin for a second. Once I discovered the joys of meatloaf in a muffin tin, I haven't gone back to the loaf. I love the way they cook faster (way convenient now that we get home later), I love the portion control, and if there is a way for a lump of meat to actually be kind of cute, this is it. (Sorry vegetarians, don't hate me!)

*I tried Zumba last night for the first time! I LOVED it. I can see how an addiction can easily form. The music was awesome, the instructors were fabulous, and it was so. much. fun. I think I finally found the work out that was made for me. I am committing to going at least once a week, and twice a week when D is home in time. Love me some Zumba!

Happy Tuesday, Y'all! (Now that it's almost over). It is kind of nice to think I'll be starting my work week half way through!

Is this thing on?

2011-02-25T03:35:00.000-08:00

I completely disappeared from blog land, and I am trying to make a comeback. Or in the words of LL Cool J, "Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years." And I have. Been here for years. However, I kind of lost my knack for blogging as I dove into my new job, my new commute, and my continuing job of being the mom to one precocious, charming, and quite exhausting 5 year old. Yes, 5. I can not believe that Diva is 5. It seems surreal. We recently registered her for kindergarten, another surreal act. As I downloaded the forms, I cried. I. Am. Not. Ready.

I am loving my job. Although I've been a teacher for 10 years, there are parts to this particular job that are new to me, and I think that's a good thing. I'm learning, and I love what I do. I always thought I needed to have my own classroom to truly be happy teaching, but it just isn't so. I have found that I like that my days are varied, and that I am always on the go.

I've missed blogging, so I am going to try to give it a go, yet again. I also have a TON to catch up on with all of the blogs I read. I'm hoping to find some moments here and there to get it all in!

Hello!!

2010-09-04T04:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, I promised to get back into blogging regularly and I failed. Things have been insanely busy here, but in an insanely awesome way!

I GOT A JOB!!!!! Yes, I had to shout it! Just when I was starting to feel lower than low, just when I was thinking I may have to go in a whole new direction, things turned around. I applied for a 4th grade special educator position, and got a call on a Thursday to interview the next day. It turns out they had interviews set up, and when they got my application they decided to add me into the interview line up. I was the last interview, at 3:00 pm on Friday the 13th. At the end of the interview, the Special Services Director (my boss), leaned toward me and said, "I just have to tell you, you have interviewed beautifully. On Monday I got the call saying I was the top candidate and they would love for me to accept the position!! I started attending professional developments that Wednesday, and kids came back the following Wednesday. It has been one wild ride! I found out later that the interview team wanted to offer me the job right then and there, but decided to do things the "right" way and check my references. I am refreshing on evaluations and paperwork, since although I've been a teacher for a while now, this is my first year as a Special Educator. So far I love my job. The school community is amazing, and it feels like a perfect fit. The only downside is that I have a commute. It's not an issue at all right now, but winter will be tough. It's so worth it to me though, this job feels meant to be. Also, for the first time since 2008, my whole family has health insurance again!!

The Diva is starting at a new preschool not far from my job on Tuesday. I just couldn't bear to have her far from me, should anything happen, or should she need me. The preschool seems fabulous, and the director/Diva's teacher is a certified teacher. It turns out that she taught 10 minutes from where I taught in FL, in the same school district. She is from VT and she and her husband moved back here the same summer we did. Also, (not that it matters but I thought it was another weird coincidence) her husband is black. There were just all of these weird parallels in our lives. She comes highly recommended by my coworkers and she is really excited about the fact that Diva is writing and starting to read. I feel like this will be a great year for Diva, as this is her final year before Kindergarten!

I wanted to share my happy news, and I hope that life settles down a teeny tiny bit, and that I will be able to blog more often. I hope all is well in your worlds!

A Different Color

2010-07-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

Today while teaching 3rd grade summer school, I had my cell phone out on the table, as I was using it for the stopwatch for running records. A picture of Diva is displayed as my wallpaper. One of my students looked down at the picture on the phone....

Student: Is that your daughter?
Me: Yes, it is.
Student: She's a different color than you.
Me: Yes, she is.

That's as far as the conversation went. I could see the little girl trying to comprehend. I guess I could have elaborated, but it really took me by surprise. Most of the time I don't even think about the fact that Diva's skin is darker than mine. She's just my Diva. After class, I looked at the picture again, thinking to myself, "Really? Is it really that obvious that Diva is "a different color?" Of course it is obvious to the naked eye, but she's not just a "different color", she's my baby. When I look at her, I see the brightness in her eyes (that are a deep brown like D's but shaped like mine). I see the perfect combination of mine and D's nose, and I see my chin. I see D's long eyelashes and distinguished eyebrows. But most of all, I see the precious little person who I am blessed to call my daughter. I guess it's just another reminder that we all see things differently.

Meal Plan Monday

2010-07-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, getting back into the swing of things. This week we are eating

Italian sausages and potato salad
Grilled tilapia, summer squash, and rice
Bbq chicken (in the crock pot), mashed potatoes, tossed salad
Swedish meatballs (in the crock pot) over wide egg noodles
Salsa chicken (in the crock pot)

There's a whole lot of crock potting going on here this week!

Happy Monday!

Random on a Sunday

2010-07-25T04:56:00.000-07:00

*I am about to finish my summer school teaching stint, and when it is done, I am officically jobless. I am still trying HARD to find a position for this school year. No luck so far. It is making us take a hard look at things, and we are trying to figure out our next step.

*With my job situation up in the air, The Diva finished up at the home daycare she had been attending since we moved to Vermont. She'll be hanging with me until I find a job, and then we will find her a preschool for her to attend. I can't believe she only has one more year before kindergarten. Time just slips right by us. Sometimes I try to cradle her in my arms like I did when she was a newborn, but it's super awkward. She hasn't grown out of general cuddling yet, for which I am grateful. I don't know what I will do when she stops climbing into my lap, throwing her arms around me and laying her head on my shoulder.

*I found out yesterday that my 1st grade boyfriend was killed in a car accident. We were good friends through elementary and middle school, lived down the street from me, stole his moms earrings to give me as a gift (my mom made me return them). A lot of my younger day memories include him. I haven't seen or spoken to him in years, but my heart goes out to his family.

Friday night, we had a family date night. We did dinner at Pizzeria Uno, and went bowling. Bowling is kind of becoming our family "thing". We've gone twice. But seriously, we enjoyed ourselves both times and plan to keep bowling a part of our family fun. I am a terrible, terrible bowler. More than once, a stranger has felt the need to come over from their lane to try to help me with my lame skills. That hasn't happened since I met D, but I'm still lousy. D likes to laugh at me, and Diva actually beat me (without bumpers) the first time we went bowling as a family. I am proud to say I actually beat my darling husband and daughter on Friday night! Go me!

I am working on a grocery list, so I am hoping to get meal plan Monday up and running again. I hope all is well in your worlds, and here's to a great week ahead!

It's been awhile

2010-06-29T13:45:00.001-07:00

Between life and a crappy computer, I haven't had time in a while to update my blog. I am hoping our computer situation will improve soon, and I will be able to squeeze some more blogging in while I keep on truckin' through this thing called life.

I am back in the job hunting jungle, and things have been looking pretty bleak. I am trying to think positively, trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, trying to keep my faith. All of these things are hard, when the date of your last known paycheck is fast approaching.

We've also been going through some growing pains with the Diva. At least, I'd like to think of them as growing pains, and I hope that things will improve. A lot of the time lately, I question my abilities to be a great mom, because things are just so darn challenging. The Diva is so darn challenging. I've always admired how bright The Diva is, how quick she is with a witty response, how perceptive she is. Now it seems that all of those things are working against me. She's sassy, she's bossy, and sometimes she's manipulative and downright rude. I LOVE MY DAUGHTER. I love her with more intensity than I ever thought existed. But, she is wearing me out. I keep reminding myself that her persistence and strong will are traits that will be helpful to her as an adult. However, in the here and now, I am tired. I am tired of power struggles, and I am tired of having to defend each and every one of my decisions with her. Perhaps she'll have a great career as a lawyer some day, but as her mom, sometimes I just want an easy day sometimes. I've checked several books out of the library recently, including Raising Your Spirited Child. If ever there was a spirited child, Diva fits the bill. I am reading some interesting things, but honestly I am also reading some of it thinking, "Sure, in a perfect world that would work, but I don't see it working here." Sometimes I miss those days of reading books like What to Expect the First Year. Now there was a book that seemed to outline things pretty clearly. I don't think a how to manual exists for a strong willed, extremely bright, completely exhausting 4 year old. We'll just keep playing it by ear.

Now that I've done my venting, I'd like to close with the POSITIVE things about my daughter. Because while I've just done a lot of griping, she's still my girl, and she brings me so much joy. Currently, The Diva has just started a summer dance class that she loves. Dancing and making up songs (really long songs that often change topic several times) are two of her favorite activities. She's also mastered the hula hoop and is now trying to teach her self to hula hoop with three hula hoops at a time, and to walk and hula hoop at the same time. The Diva has also become kind of obsessed with writing. She loves writing the words she knows, spelling and writing new words, and labeling her pictures. Recently one morning, she asked me how to spell Lady Gaga while we were riding in the car. That night, I found a piece of paper with Lady Gaga written all over it. I blame my teenage siblings for her even knowing who Lady Gaga is. The Diva is sensitive and loving, helpful and compassionate.She is inquisitive and a deep thinker. I am really proud to be her mom!

Dead computers, meal plans, and snow. Oh my!

2010-04-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

Our computer decided to lay down and die, for no apparent reason (D, of course, blames me). This of course, is driving me batty. I am blogging right now from my mom's house. When I was a teenager, the parents being out of town led to plans of debauchery, now I am just happy to be able to come over and do my laundry, and use the computer.

So, because the computer failed me last week, I didn't post a meal plan. We had a pretty tasty week too. Just in case you care, or are looking for new ideas, our meals last week were: Swedish Meatballs over farfalle pasta, curry rice soup, cajun chicken quesadillas, and spanish rice casserole. We ate pizza downtown on Tuesday night, before going to see Sesame Street Live (it was great!).

This week on the menu:
Monday: Chicken alfredo and garlic toast
Tuesday- Pork chops, rice, green beans
Wednesday- Cajun catfish, cauliflower, and garlic mashed potatoes
Thursday- Chicken, broccoli and rice skillet
Friday- Tacos (per Diva's request)

Diva and I are on vacation this week, I do not have a migraine (so far), and we have no house guest, unlike our February break. I am enjoying my time with Diva, she is such an amazing (and exhausting) girl. We spent the whole day outside yesterday enjoying a beautiful sunny day. Today, it is snowing. Yes, a few short days away from May, and it is snowing big, wet, sloppy flakes. Thank goodness for the library, lunch at the mall, and our plan to bake this afternoon. Let's hope we get a little more sunshine and warm weather soon!!!

Have a marvelous week!

Diva live on tv!

2010-04-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

Diva was live on the local morning news this morning to promote our local Relay for Life. I am one proud mama!

Meal Plan Monday

2010-04-12T03:57:00.001-07:00

Monday- Pork chops, garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli
Tuesday-Chicken and yellow rice bowls.
Wednesday-Ribs, corn, rice
Thursday-Shepherd's Pie
Friday- Chicken breasts, green beans, rice, and gravy. (No date night after all!)

Enjoy the week!

Random on a Saturday Morning

2010-04-10T03:50:00.000-07:00

*I have been having a busy, stressful week. It's that time of the year where I try desperately to find a classroom teaching position. I have been tweaking my resume, and writing essays until the cows come home. I keep telling myself this is my year to get back in the classroom, and then I psych myself out. I am working on dropping the psych myself out part.

* This has been the lowest maintenance hair week Diva has ever had. I got 3 whole days out of her twist out, then 3 days of ponytails on her twisted out hair. The Darcy's Botanicals curling jelly has been like a miracle in a jar, keepin her curls looking fresh.

* I talked to my mother-in-law on the phone yesterday (it was her birthday), and was reminded of how much I miss her living close by. When we lived in Florida, she was my mom away from mom. I feel blessed to have such an amazing mother-in-law!

*Today Diva has dance class (the highlight of her week), and the rest of the weekend is unplanned so far. It feels nice to not have a jam packed weekend.

Enjoy your weekend, whether it be busy or laid back!!!

Diva's Easter hair and flair

2010-04-06T03:50:00.001-07:00

I took Diva's two strand twists out for Easter Sunday,and we were all please with the results. Diva looked precious in her polka dotted dress, but of course she had to add her own personal touch with a pair of sunglasses from her collection. She was her usually posing self all day long.

Meal Plan Monday

2010-04-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

Here it folks:

Monday- Goulash, salad, garlic toast
Tuesday- Salsa Chicken in the crockpot (love, love, love this!)
Wednesday-Beef Stroganoff
Thursday- Bbq chicken in the crockpot, cheesy mashed potatoes, broccoli
Friday- Pork chops (marinated in something), rice, green beans

A beautiful Saturday, and two strand twists

2010-04-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

Saturday here in Vermont was ridiculously beautiful. We're talking sunshine and 80 degree weather, a rariety in early April here. When we got out and about, it was shocking to see so many people out walking, biking, etc. You forget other people live here when everyone is hunkered down for the bitter cold winter.

I wanted Diva to have a twist out for her Easter hair style, so Saturday morning I did two strand twists all over her head. This was the first time I had done twists all over, and I must say I LOVE THIS HAIR STYLE. It took us about two hours to complete. I recently bought some new hair products, and after conditioning Diva's hair with Darcy's Botanicals Pumpkin Seed Conditioner, I detangled her hair and got to work. Detangling was super easy after using the pumpkin seed conditioner. I love this stuff! I used the DB Madagascar Vanilla Styling Creme to do Diva's twists. The styling creme is another big hit here in the Blitenotwhack househould. I'm just loving these products and can't wait to try more!

While I was twisting Diva's hair, I had an emotional moment. Diva turned her little head toward me and said, "I want to watch you do this Mommy, so that someday when I have a little girl, I will know how to do her hair just like you do mine." Ack, I get teared up just typing that. Call me a dork if you will, but something about that just really got to me. It lets me know that deep down somewhere, Diva is learning about the love and importance I place on taking good care of her hair. As a biracial woman, Diva's hair will play a large part in her self image. I strive for it to be a positive one. I love her natural hair, and I want her to love it too!!

The twists got rave reviews all day long. I wasn't sure whether to feel insulted or flattered when people assumed she got her hair done at a salon. (I went with flattered!). Stay tuned for pics of her Easter Sunday twist out. We will definitely be rocking twists again soon!!

A back view of her twists

I love the confidence in this picture

I promise you she's not sad here, just being her usual dramatic self

Super Easy Hair Style

2010-04-04T04:10:00.001-07:00

Because I work full time, and Diva plays hard, many of the hair styles I do on her hair start with 4 parts. Once I have done the work of parting, I can use the parts as a starting point and change things up throughout the week. This hair style is done by starting with 4 braids. I then take the bottom braids and bring them up to the front of the top braids, attaching them to the top hair elastics. Then, I take the top braids, and hook them in the back. I like to use a colorful knocker, but you can really dress this hairstyle up or down depending on the accessories you use.

Diva at play

2010-03-31T14:48:00.000-07:00

These pictures were taken by Diva's teacher. Even on a cloudy day, my girl's "cool" sunglasses are always on standby.

Hair stylin'

2010-03-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

This hair style was a few weeks ago, but I never posted pics. I sectioned off the front of Diva's hair and did tiny braids, and put them off to the side. Then I parted down the middle (kind of badly) and did two banded ponytails. Lastly, I took four tiny braids and crossed them over the other four. Diva has so much hair that they are kind of hard to see (since Diva has such thick hair), I would make them bigger next time. I added some colorful ponytail holders and had one happy Diva.

Meal Plan Monday

2010-03-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

Here's the run down for the week at our house. I will be once again looking for some new ideas for next week, this week I am going with old faithful, people pleasers.

Monday-Chicken stir fry
Tuesday- Meatloaf muffins, broccoli, garlic mashed potatoes
Wednesday- Pork chops, green beans, noodles
Thursday- Baked chicken breasts, rice, cauliflower
Friday-Jambalaya

Have a fabulous week!

It's only 7 am and

2010-03-27T04:13:00.000-07:00

The Diva is already on a roll. These two gems are straight out of her mouth in the last 15 minutes:

"Hold on Mom. I'll put my clothes on. I just want to see how cool it is to hula hoop naked."

and, while I was helping her put her tights on for dance class:

"Wow, Mom. It's like your my servant. Nice."

I don't know what to do with this girl.

My little schemer

2010-03-23T12:25:00.001-07:00

I am getting sick of cleaning The Diva's room. There's a place for everything, and she knows where everything goes. Nonetheless, she continues to toss things around with no regard for putting them where they belong. She has been asking to have a friend over for a play date, and I keep telling her that she can't until she can keep her room clean.

Fast forward a few weeks. We were in the car, and Diva says (all in one breath), "Mom, can Eric come over for a play date?He said he'd clean my room."

So, if she's already figured out how to sweet talk a friend into cleaning her room, what kinds of schemes am I going to have to worry about when she's a teenager?

Meal Plan Monday

2010-03-22T03:37:00.000-07:00

Here's the run down:

Monday- Chinese take out (Happy Birthday to me)
Tuesday- Chili
Wednesday-Pork chops, cheesy rice, broccoli
Thursday-Some kind of pasta, with a meat sauce, salad, bread
Friday- Dirty rice (we still haven't had it)

Have a wonderful week!

Meal Plan Monday

2010-03-15T03:52:00.000-07:00

So this week, I am trying some new recipes. I think I could live on rice and fruit and veggies, but D NEEDS a big hearty meal. So this week, I am really making an effort to make his tummy full and happy.

Monday- Buttered Chicken (yeah, I know real healthy), green beans, scalloped potatoes
Tuesday- Muffin Tin Meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, yellow squash
Wednesday- To Die For Pot Roast (haven't made it before, so we shall see if it's to die for), onions, carrots, mashed potatoes.
Thursday-Salsa Chicken (in the crock pot), served over rice with a side of corn
Friday- Left overs (between the pot roast and the chicken, I am thinkin' we'll have plenty), I might grab some tortillas to make tacos with the leftover chicken.

Have the best Monday ever!

Hair today

2010-03-14T18:22:00.000-07:00

Actually it's hair tonight. With all the errands that come with Sunday, and a migraine to contend with, I put off doing Diva's hair until this evening. Sundays are shampoo days for Diva. I shampoo, condition, and then go to work detangling and styling. Yesterday we got some cute hair ties that look like pieces of candy. They were a dollar at Claires. I wish they had more, but I was only able to get one pack. Diva was so anxious to put them in her hair. I decided to part her hair in 4 parts today, and then section each ponytail into twists. My parts are crooked, but it will have to do. For a rush job, I think it came out okay.

How old am I?

2010-03-12T13:54:00.000-08:00

Do you know? Because I can't seem to keep track of my own age. My birthday is coming up in just over a week. Somehow in the last few weeks or so, I convinced myself that I was 32, turning 33. I was on the phone with my 13 year old niece last night, and I said something about turning 33. She said, "You're 31." I said, "I am NOT. I am 32, I will be 33 on the 22nd." Again she said, "You're 31. You are turning 32. You were born in 1978. Do the math." So, sheepishly I did the math. I am 31. I am turning 32. Somewhere along the line, I just forgot. Aren't I too young for this? I feel like such a dork, especially since I had to be shown the light by a 13 year old who is now questioning my sanity.

Darcy's Botanicals Giveaway at Happy Girl Hair

2010-03-08T13:46:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite new hair websites is Happy Girl Hair.Happy Girl Hair has been inspiring me to try new styles on the Diva, and has been introducing me to hair products that I haven't yet tried. I am so excited that there is a giveaway for 3 products from Darcy's Botanicals. I have been wanting to try these products when I make a new order. This giveaway is a hair obsessed mama's dream. So check out both sites, and sign up for the give away at Happy Girl Hair!

Meal Plan Monday

2010-03-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

It's a boring food week here at the blitenotwhack house. I am trying to use up stuff we have around the house to save a bit o' money this week. So...

Monday- Chicken tenders, rice, corn
Tuesday-Tacos
Wednesday-Pork Chops, garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli
Thursday-Fiesta shells and cheese (ground beef, taco seasoning, shells and cheese)
Friday- Dirty rice

Hair

2010-03-04T03:33:00.000-08:00

As you may have figured out if you are a reader here, The Diva has a lot of hair. A. Lot. Of. Hair. I have spent all 4 years of her life searching for the best ways to care for it. It is an ongoing process for sure. The Diva has never been very cooperative about letting me do her hair, and I have been timid about braiding since doing her hair has been kind of a traumatic experience for both of us. You know, she cries, I cry, you get the picture. I have tried television, snacks, songs, rewards (bribery), nothing has been successful. The Diva prefers to be a martyr. She would rather cry and scream and tell me how horrible things are than be distracted. However, I am happy to say we are turning a corner. Maybe she's more mature now (ha), or maybe she is just tired of being miserable. Either way, she is being a lot more patient about letting me do her hair. For the most part, I do a lot of styles that look similar to the picture above. Recently, when I look at hairstyles online, I have been having Diva look with me and tell me what she likes. I remind her that those little girls in the pictures must have been sitting VERY NICELY for their mommies in order to have such pretty hair. The Diva LOVES looking at new hairstyles and she LOVES it when I ask her what kind of hairstyle she would like. We are finally getting somewhere, and I am hoping to share pics of more elaborate hairstyles in the future!

Winter Vacation

2010-03-03T13:58:00.000-08:00

Diva and I just finished our winter vacation. Winter vacation is over, so does that mean Spring is coming? I sure hope so! We did get some snow last week, and The Diva enjoyed some snowman building, sledding, and just being Diva. I swear, I get these perfect ideas in my head of how I would like pictures to turn out, and The Diva always has her own agenda! I am hoping that this is the last picture I take of her in the snow this year!

Back to the grind

2010-03-02T17:25:00.001-08:00

I return to work tomorrow, and Diva returns to daycare. Our house guest leaves tomorrow. I feel cheated out of this vacation, mostly due to the fact that I spent the majority of my time with an ice pack over my head, trying to cure my migraine with a variety of over the counter pain medications. Tonight I told D that I wanted to start putting some money away toward "Mama's Tropical Vacation Fund". He asked me if I was planning this trip for just myself. I was including him in the little plan in my head, but I wouldn't mind running away to a beautiful island alone either. I'd come back! I got sucked in to The Bachelor, and now all I can think about is being in an ocean side pool in St. Lucia. I really can't stop thinking about it. Close your eyes, and picture yourself somewhere warm, tropical, and stress free. Isn't that nice?

Back to reality! I hope every one's weeks are full of happiness and void of stress!

Meal Plan Monday

2010-03-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

I am going to apologize in advance. Due to having a houseguest (big fake smile here), our meal plan changed a little bit last week. So, some meals look like repeats, but we just haven't eaten them yet. I also have maybe flipped some side dishes around. Who knows? I like to live dangerously.

Monday- Teriyaki pork tenderloin, buttered noodles, spinach

Tuesday- Shepherd's pie

Wednesday- Spanish rice casserole (a new recipe I am excited to try)

Thursday- Goulash, salad, maybe garlic bread

Friday- Kielbasa, macaroni and cheese, and carrots (Diva's favorite dinner, perfect for a Friday-I don't really want to cook but I will-meal)

Bedtime

2010-02-24T04:23:00.001-08:00

In my migraine haze, I managed to cook up a nice dinner (chicken marsala). While sitting at the dinner table, I said to D, "I am passing the bedtime torch to you. I am going to bed, and you and Diva are on your own." I proceeded to retreat to my dark bedroom with a huge glass of water and an icepack. I woke up this morning, and wondered why Diva didn't come in for bedtime kisses. I asked her about it, and she said, "I did, Mommy. You were sleeping, so I kissed your forehead and Daddy tucked me in." I'm sure it's true, my migraines certainly can knock me out, but I hate that I missed out on those bedtime hugs and kisses. It turns out that I need that tucking in time with Diva as much (or more) than she does.

Migraine

2010-02-23T15:00:00.000-08:00

I am on day six of a migraine. I am not happy. It is interfering with my life in so many ways. I can't enjoy my vacation with Diva, I can't properly clean (and we have a house guest coming), and I can't read the pile of books I checked out of the library. Go away migraine, and I mean it!

Meal Plan Monday

2010-02-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

I am not impressed with this week's meals. I just couldn't get very inspired. The Diva and I are on vacation this week, so maybe that's why my meal motivation is lacking.

Monday-Beef taco skillet- something new I found online, featuring beef, taco seasoning, tomatoes, and rotini pasta. It probably has some other ingredients I am failing to mention.

Tuesday- Chicken marsala, green beans, rice

Wednesday- Crock pot kielbasa- kielbasa cut into circles, 5-6 potatoes peeled and chunked, canned corn, an onion, and cream of mushroom soup.

Thursday-Goulash and salad

Friday-Crock pot bbq chicken, buttered noodles, spinach.

Have a lovely week!

Do you like enemas?

2010-02-21T04:50:00.000-08:00

D got Diva a tube of M&M's for Valentine's Day. It reminded me that not long ago, Diva didn't call them M&M's. She called them enemas. It provided me with all kinds of amusement. Here are some examples of just how funny it could be:

Diva: "I want an enema!" "Mommy, can I have an enema?" "I want more enema's!" "Do you like enemas Mommy?"

Now that Diva pronounces the name of those little chocolaty treats correctly, it's just not as much fun to let her have them.

Interview with Diva-then and now

2010-02-17T13:42:00.001-08:00

Last year around this time, I did a facebook note interview with Diva. I thought it would be fun to post last year's answers, ask her the same questions again and see how they change. Here goes:

March 09- Age 3

1) What does your Mama say to you a lot? I love you
2) What makes Mama happy? A smiley face
3) What makes Mama sad? Getting mad
4) What does your Mama do to make you laugh? Plays music
5) What was your Mama like as I child? I don't know
6)How old is your Mama? 30
7) How tall is your Mama? This tall (gesturing with hands)
8)What is her favorite thing to do? Pick me up at daycare
9) What does your Mama do when you aren't around? Works
10) If your Mama becomes famous, what will it be for? Drinking and laughing

Feb 2010

1)What does your Mom say to you a lot? She calls me Pookie.
2) What makes Mommy happy? Hugs
3)What makes Mommy sad? When I yell. That makes Mommy sad.
4) What does your Mommy say to make you laugh? She says I am funny and silly. That makes me laugh.
5) What was your Mommy like as a child? She was very nice and she was very special.
6) How old is your Mom? 31
7) How tall is your Mom? A little bit tall. Yeah, but not as tall as Daddy.
8) What is her favorite thing to do? Play at the park with me.
9) What does your Mom do when you aren't around? She goes to work.
10) If your Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for? She would be famous for dancing, and jumping jacks.

Mini post- Margaritas

2010-02-17T13:32:00.000-08:00

This morning, Diva was running around the house singing one word over and over again. The word was margarita. Why was she singing margarita? Not sure. I do find margaritas to be a happy drink, but the only time I ever have one is when D and I get a rare evening out. I asked her why she was singing "margarita", and she said, "What? I'm just speaking spanish, Mom." This kid. Sometimes I just don't know what to make of her.

On Love

2010-02-16T14:43:00.000-08:00

With Valentine's Day being this past Sunday, it was easy to get the topic of love stuck on the brain. My first Valentine's Day with D involved a hotel, japanese food, red wine, and a reggae fest. We were young (25) and carefree (no kids). As the years have passed, our Valentine's day celebrations have mellowed. We spent one at a rib joint where we ran into one of D's exes, we spent another having fondue after Diva went to bed. This year, D treated "his girls" to a brunch out. Do I like being recognized as D's "true love" on Valentine's Day? Sure. More important to me though, are those daily reminders that we still love each other (for the most part we like each other too). Sometimes, I think to myself, "GOD, I just LOVE D". I will just be overcome with this feeling of intense love. (Go ahead, gag.) So, I got to thinking. Does D ever have those "GOD I just LOVE her moments? If I asked, would I get an honest response? I decided to ask. When I asked him, he chuckled and said, "You know, I do." Then he followed up with, "I also have those times where I think, "God this woman is driving me nuts!" His responses lead me to believe I got an honest answer. Sometimes I feel wistful thinking about that passionate, can't be apart, no one else matters love from the early days. Then I remember, I have a steady love. I married a guy who knows me better than anyone and still loves me. A guy who buys me giant lemonheads and cleans my car off when it snows. A guy that I can grow old with. Okay, mush over.

Meal Plan Monday

2010-02-15T03:43:00.000-08:00

Good Morning! I am up at at 'em with this week's meal plan. No more slacking for me.

Monday- Tilapia (cajun for D and I, lemon pepper for the Diva), yellow squash, mashed pototaoes.

Tuesday- Yellow rice and chicken- this is a family favorite. I take 1.5 pounds of boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut them into small pieces, and cook them in a pan in some olive oil. While this is happening, I cook Carolina yellow rice in a big pot. When the chicken and rice are done, I mix them together, and I have dishes of taco ingredients (sour cream, tomatoes, onion, shredded cheese, lettuce), to add to individual bowls. Diva and I like ours with tomatoes, cheese, and sour cream, D likes the works. This is a really tasty meal that can be made in 30 minutes!

Wednesday- Beef stroganoff over egg noodles

Thursday- Salmon fillets, rice, cauliflower

Friday- Chicken and stuffing, green beans. Another easy one- 1.5 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts in a baking dish. I pour a can of cream of mushroom soup over the chicken, and prepare a box of stove top stuffing, and put that on top. I throw it in the oven at 375, for about 30 minutes, give or take.

I was kind of in a rut this week as far as what I wanted to make. I am going to be scouring some cookbooks and the net to look for some new recipes to try. Have a great week!

Bedtime fears and happy thoughts

2010-02-13T04:05:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting/meaning to post this since late November. I haven't been slacking on it, but the subject matter makes me emotional. However, knowing that most or all of my readers are parents, this may just be helpful or useful to someone out there in the blogosphere.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my grandfather died suddenly in early November. The loss was a hard hit for me, and a hard hit for my Diva. This event in our lives is the official marking of the first time her innocence about life took a beating. My Papa was a big part of the Diva's life. They were a two member mutual admiration society. I was grieving double time, for myself, and for my sweet little girl who had never had to truly experience the loss of a loved one. Instead of my heart just been ripped out of my chest, it was being stomped upon as well.

As parents, we want the best for our children. We want to be able to protect them from the hurt and the pain that life can bring. Unfortunately, that hurt and pain is part of life. The best we can do is guide them through it.

The night my grandfather died is the night Diva stopped sleeping. She refused to be in her room alone, and after falling asleep she would be up within a few hours, terrified to go back to sleep. Also, a form of separation anxiety we had never experienced set in. Leaving the room was an impossibility. Endless questions about death pelleted us in pretty much every conversation. My amazing girl, the source of so much of my joy, was suffering.

After two weeks, I was at a loss as to what to do about the sleep issue. Something had to change. Diva was a mess, and we all now how important sleep is for the body. Getting her to go to bed was a struggle. I've always been pretty firm about bedtime, but when your baby girl is crying, "Please, I just can't be alone!', something has got to give.

I started polling everyone I knew. What do I do? How can I help her? Will she ever feel safe to sleep through the night again? I do believe it takes a village to raise a child. Some of the best answers to my questions came from the minds and mouths of our family and friends. One suggested a special blanket or animal to sleep with. Diva sleeps with a stuffed rottweiler, but I decided to add something else to her ritual. I pulled out an afghan that I have had since birth. I introduced it to her as her "brave blanket". I explained that the blanket had been mine, and was very special, and she could hold it close to her to help her feel brave at night. She was thrilled! I couldn't believe it. I didn't think it could be so simple, but my girl just needed reassurance and she needed something concrete that she could hold and feel. That brave blanket turned out to be something she could believe in.

The other jewel of bedtime advice that we now can not live without was happy thoughts. Diva's teacher told me that when her girls were young, she would rub their foreheads as they listed happy thoughts that would help them to sleep and keep them from being scared. Happy thoughts. Something so simple, that I never thought to do. Diva can't go to sleep now with out her brave blanket and a good long list of happy thoughts. But hey, she's going to sleep. And we've made it over our first hard emotional hurdle. I know there will come a time when little tricks like these won't be tools that can ease my daughter's heartache, but I have learned from this. Bag of tricks or not, I will continue to do what moms everywhere do. I will try to make things better.

Meal Plan Mondays, errr Wednesday

2010-02-10T13:14:00.000-08:00

So, I have been fighting a cold (and the cold has been winning). I didn't post a meal plan, thinking no one would notice. Surprise, someone noticed! So, for you- Shan (and anyone else who cares)-

Monday- Spaghetti and meatballs, salad, and garlic bread. I made a double batch of meatballs and sauce, and froze some for another meal.

Tuesday- Grilled kielbasa, angel hair pasta with garlic and olive oil, and broccoli

Wednesday- Taco night!!

Thursday- Pork chops marinated in italian dressing, cheddar broccoli rice, green beans

Friday- Chili and corn bread.

I vow to post my next meal plan on MONDAY. :)

Random Ramblings

2010-02-04T03:37:00.000-08:00

* Monday night, two of Diva's fish ate her other fish. The fish was alive one minute and a skeleton the next. It's still disturbing me. Thank goodness my sweet girl was sleeping!

*It is 3 degrees today with the windchill. Yesterday it was in the 30's. I'd like a little more consistency. Please and thank you.

* Yesterday the Diva was playing with a loud toy that I had asked her not to play with. I told her that if she played it again, I would take it away. She replied, "What if I'm loud Mommy, will you take me away too?" I dread the teen years.

* Tuesday night D surprised me with a babysitter and happy hour. I had a margarita and we ate pub food. He knew I was feeling down, and having that little break really helped.

*I have finished all four Twilight books, and against my better judgment I find myself craving more.

That's all for now. Happy Thursday!

Meal Plan Monday

2010-02-01T15:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! (Pretend I am saying that in a really pleasant, cheery voice). I have felt neither pleasant, nor cheery today, but we can all pretend, now can't we?
Here's what feeding looks like at our house this week:

Monday- Cajun catfish, herb and butter rice, cauliflower

Tuesday- Chicken and broccoli alfredo, garlic toast

Wednesday- Sausage gravy over mashed potatoes, green beans

Thursday- Chicken/veggie stir fry over rice

Friday- Cheese raviolis in meat sauce, salad.

Have the best week ever!

Who's my boss?

2010-01-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when Diva and I were walking into the house after work/school, she said this to me:

"You're the mom, so YOU work for ME. I just get to do girly, daughter things. But, you do get to stay up later because you're the mom."

She said this in such a matter of fact way. There was nothing bossy or rude about it. Simply how Diva looks at our relationship. And she's kind of right, I DO work for her. In many, many ways. And I wouldn't change a thing.

Meal Plan Monday

2010-01-25T13:11:00.000-08:00

Since I meal plan every week, I figured I will start posting my meal plan here on Mondays, for our Monday-Friday meals. I love checking out meal plans on other people's blogs. It's nice to get fresh ideas!

Monday- Spiral ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans
Tuesday-Chili with ground beef and ground sausage (at D's request), hopefully corn muffins too!
Wednesday- Pork chops, rice, broccoli
Thursday-Jambalaya
Friday- Sloppy Joes and sweet potato fries

I'll be there with bells on

2010-01-19T18:55:00.001-08:00

How many times have you heard that expression? I know I have heard it countless times. Sometimes, because The Diva is a pretty bright little cookie, I forget that she isn't completely worldly, and sometimes takes things very literally.

This Saturday, we will be celebrating Diva's birthday. She is having a Fancy Nancy Soiree. We are all excited. The Diva wanted to make sure that Uncle K was coming to the party, so she called to invite him personally. His reply was, "I'll be there with bells on."

So, fast forward about a week. The Diva is sitting at the table, drawing a picture for Uncle K. She holds the picture up to me and says, "Mommy, look at the picture I made for Uncle K!" And look! I put a bell sticker on it, because he is going to wear bells to my party!" Sure enough, she had placed a bell sticker on the picture. I started to speak, stopped myself, and then asked, "Did Uncle K say he would be there with bells on?" The Diva looked up at me with her enormous (and gorgeous )brown eyes and said, "Yes! That's what he said! He'll be there with bells on!" I could see all of the certainty in her sweet face. I relayed the story to Uncle K, and I sure hope he shows up with bells on, or we will have one confused little Diva!

Foto Friday

2010-01-08T03:52:00.000-08:00

This picture just cracks me up! Diva loves to pose, I usually can't get the pictures I want to get, since she already has it in her head how each photo shoot should go down. This is just an example of what happens when I pull out a camera. This was taken on New Year's Eve.

Lost

2010-01-06T04:01:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a really long time. I experienced the loss of my grandfather on November 9th, 2009. It was sudden, it was unexpected, and truly I am still reeling from the loss. I have had a hard time getting back on here, but I am ready to try. My Papa was an amazing man, and over the last two months, I have been learning how to celebrate his life through my memories, rather than focus on the pain of no longer having this man in my life. I hope this finds you all well ( if you are still reading)! The Diva has kept me very busy, and we all have a lot to catch up on!

Passive Aggressive

2009-11-03T03:55:00.000-08:00

This morning I was really irritated with D. For some reason we never mesh very well in the morning. So, when I made his lunch this morning, I drew an angry face on his bread with the mustard. Of course, he'll never know, but I did it anyway. I am so mature.

Bippity Boppity Boo!

2009-10-26T13:51:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we went to a Halloween event at a nearby museum. Diva is Cinderella this year. The weather was perfect! We went with some friends who have a son who is 3 weeks older than Diva. They are two peas in a pod, and have a great time together!

After I worked so hard to get all the Cinderella details right, Diva insisted on glamming it up with some sunglasses and a boa!

My pretty princess!

Being carried to the car by her Prince Charming!

Night out!

2009-10-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

I am doing something I've never done before. Okay, so that's a lie, but I am doing something I haven't done in a REALLY long time. I am going out tonight with some girls (my bff and some of her coworkers). We are going to dinner and a movie. When my bff called to invite me, I tried to remember the last time I went out without D or Diva. It was last May. I hope I remember how to make adult conversation!

In her head

2009-10-22T04:32:00.000-07:00

Life with The Diva provides lots of entertainment. I always love it when she gives me a peak inside the crazy world that is her imagination. Last week, Diva was pretend playing (as usual) -

Diva: Look Mommy, I have a baby in my belly.
Me: Oh, how interesting. When is your baby due?
Diva: In forty-five minutes.
Me: Do you have a husband?
Diva: (long dramatic pause) Not anymore.
Me: Oh, what happened?
Diva: He died. His name was Drew.
Me: Oh, wow, I'm sorry Diva.
Diva: (sighs) It's not your fault mom

A bit later, I am sitting in the living room clipping coupons and Diva come and sits next to me. She flops dramatically down next me and starts sighing heavily and staring off into space.

Me: Hey Diva, what's the matter?
Diva: (souunding forlorn) Oh, I'm just thinking about my husband. Drew. I miss him.
Me: I'm really sorry Diva. ( I had kind of forgotten about the dead husband. I figured she would have moved on to something new)
Diva: Oh, Mom. It's not your fault. Remember? (sighing and shaking her head)

I have no idea where she gets this stuff. When she creates a storyline, it's awfully elaborate and she sure sticks to it. I have to wonder if she's secretly watching soap operas behind my back.

AH-choo!

2009-10-20T13:33:00.001-07:00

As soon as I stop sneezing, I'll post something. I swear. On an interesting note, The Diva has a new obsession with the Beastie Boys, and requests that I play "License to Ill" in the car on the way to school. Her favorite song is "Brass Monkey". I am pretty sure these facts qualify my as a bad mother, but since I knew the words to Eric Clapton's "Cocaine" when I was her age, I think she'll be alright.

It's about time!

2009-10-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

We have been without a computer for what feels like forever! Really, it's been two weeks since our computer crashed. D, wonderful husband that he is, took care of business and got things up and running. Since I last blogged:

-The Diva learned to independently zip her jacket.

-I have read some really great books. I read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. They both completely sucked me in. I am now desperate for the third and final book in the trilogy to come out, but it is going to be a while. I just started The Help today. So far, so good.

D and I had 20 consecutive hours of alone time last weekend. My aunt invited Diva for an overnight. We went out to dinner with friends, and saw Couples Retreat. It was funny, but a bit slow. It was nice to have some time alone, and get out and do something.

-My mom's first book was published! I am so proud of her!!! She has her very first book signing tomorrow! I am so happy! She truly is amazing, and how she wrote a book with a full time job, a family at home, and her own business (along with all the volunteering she does) is beyond me. If ever there was an example of a strong, creative, multi-tasking woman, it's my mom!

-The Diva has taken an interest in learning to read, and is taking off with it!

I will be posting more frequently from here on out! Hooray for technology!

Apple Picking

2009-09-29T03:50:00.000-07:00

Or should I say apple eating? I forgot my memory card, so my step-father took some pictures and sent them to me. Going over them, I realized that most of the pictures of the Diva are of her working on eating an apple. If an apple a day really keeps the doctor away, the Diva should be all set. She loves her apples! We had a great time enjoying the beautiful fall day! Apple picking with the whole family has become a yearly tradition since we moved back up north. I'm not quite looking forward to winter, but I do love the fall and all the great activities it brings.

The Diva on TV!

2009-09-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

Oops, Wrong Number

2009-09-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

Today I had to make a phone call to update some information for The Diva's health insurance. Daddyo told me the number and I diligently wrote it down. Or so I thought. I had a prep period between students, so I decided to quickly call and take care of things. I dialed the number, and a prompt told me to call another number, and then disconnected. I was able to write the new number and immediately punched the numbers into my phone. When I was connected with a voice, I heard this, "Hey Big Boy! We can connect you right now with hot, sexy women just waiting to talk to you." I hung up quickly, and I am sure my face was a hundred shades of red. I have no idea what else the message said, but I summed up that I had mistakenly called a phone sex hot line. Major oops!!!! I thank God that I was calling from my cell phone, and not from my school. Personal calls are allowed from time to time, but certainly not that kind of personal call! I called Daddyo back and realized my mistake. I had written a seven down as a two. Who would have thought one little number would make such a BIG difference!!!!

Dancer, or Ninja?

2009-09-18T03:57:00.001-07:00

The Diva started dance lessons last week. Of course, you can't take pictures and 10 sets of parents pressing themselves up against one tiny window to see what is going on is not a pretty sight. I wanted to get some photos to document my sweet little princess on the first day of her precious little dance class. I got this. I love it!!!

Foto Faces Friday

2009-09-11T13:57:00.001-07:00

Oobi is not my friend.

2009-08-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

Have you seen Oobi? If you haven't please take 22 minutes (with the understanding that you will NEVER get these minutes back and may possibly be scarred for life) and watch it. If you don't want to sacrifice your time or your sanity, I will give you a run down. Oobi is a hand. A hand with googly eyes. A hand that speaks incorrectly, and has hand friends and family members that are equally obnoxious.

Between 6:30 and 7 every morning, I let the Diva watch Noggin. This half hour of tv time in the morning helps us both out. At this point, my early riser has had breakfast, and it is crunch time for Mama to get ready for the day. It's hard to get ready for the day when you have someone following you around asking you how blood runs through your body, if God knows how to dance, or if you would like to play "princess shopping" for the millionth time. It's also nice to get dressed without your 3 year old telling you your belly resembles Frosty The Snowman, all the while following you around singing the darn song.

So, now that happy 30 minutes is filled by freakin' Oobi. The Diva loves Oobi. Oobi makes me sick. Literally. I had a migraine the other day and the sound of Oobi's voice literally made me throw up.

This morning, Oobi had a new friend. Frieda. She's a foot! I am totally confused as to how whoever is playing Frieda moves their leg around in that awkward position. Are they walking on their hands? What's up with that? I made some smart remark about Frieda, and The Diva got mad. Really mad. She went on a tirade about Frieda.

"What do you mean, you don't like Frieda? Are you kidding me, Mom? She's a talking foot!!! And she has toes! She's upside down! She has toes! I like her! She's a talking foot! She doesn't have fingers! She's a talking foot!"

So throughout the day, I've just randomly said, "I don't like Frieda." To which the Diva replies, "She's a talking foot!" The Diva's arguement is part of the reason Frieda bothers me so much, she's a talking foot! Come on! The hands were bad enough. Now they've thrown feet into the mix.

For some reason The Diva has become the great Oobi defender. I almost feel bad dissing it to her, since she likes it so much. Almost, but not really. Oobi has got to go. I almost think watching some VH1 reality show would be of more educational value. Almost, but not really. I'll let her keep Oobi, for now.

The Diva ponders taking a husband

2009-08-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

The Diva is sick today. I got a call to come get her at daycare. She was running a low grade fever and fell asleep during free play time. This alarmed her teacher, since The Diva is rarely quiet or still, let alone narcoleptic. I hurried to scoop up my poor sick baby. Mama hates having a poor sick baby, it hurts the heart. She seems a bit better now, I have given her some Motrin and am being extra indulgent. She is now watching Noggin while lying on the couch completely naked. She insists that being naked makes her feel better. She is covered up with a blanket, that had to be tan so that it would match the belly of her beloved stuffed Rottie, Zeus.

So, recently Diva and I were hanging out, talking about life and she said, (out of nowhere) "I want to be a mommy someday. So I am going to need a husband. I want Daddy to be my husband."I know this is common for little girls, but hello awkwardness! I escaped this conversation by saying Daddy could only be my husband, and that I was sure she would find her own wonderful husband someday.

A few days later she was on to talking about other people's husbands. Namely, my sister in law's. It went down like this:

Diva- Is Uncle Auntie's husband?
Me- Yes.
Diva- Who is Grandma's husband?
Me- Well, Grandma doesn't have a husband.
Diva- Oh, so does Auntie share her husband with Grandma?

Way to go Diva! Just keep setting me up for weird conversations. I am sure as she gets older she will have a better understanding of such matters, but for now she thinks she can marry her daddy and that sharing husbands is an okay thing to do.

The Power of Positive Thinking

2009-08-24T17:26:00.001-07:00

What a difference a change in attitude and having some faith can make. First off, I'd like to say thank you for the encouraging and supportive comments! I truly appreciate it.

Today, out of curiousity (and possibly desperation) I scoured the job postings for the two school districts I have worked for this past year. I saw that the Reading Tutor position at the middle school where I have been working was posted. It pays more than subbing, and involves teaching small group reading instruction. A step closer to where I would like to be. I love the school where I have been subbing, the administration is amazing, the staff is fabulous, and the students are great too! Working there has made not being a classroom teacher a bit easier to bare. So, long story short, I got the position! I feel really good about it. Long term, it's not where I see myself, but I think it is a good move. I get to stay at a school I enjoy working at, The Diva can stay at the home daycare that she loves, and I will be making a little bit more money. This Mama is feeling so blessed and happy tonight!

Here I am

2009-08-22T03:59:00.000-07:00

Most likely no one is really wondering where I have gone. I have put up some wordless blogs recently, but my heart hasn't been in blogging. Until I realized that this is my blog, and I love to write, and maybe, just maybe writing would help. I've been in a pretty negative place for a while now. It is most definitely job related. I still have yet to find a full time classroom position, so back to subbing I go. I left a teaching job that I was perfectly happy with to make a different life for our family. The good news is, Daddy-o's work life is much more stable here. The bad news is, my career is non-exisitent at the moment, which puts a strain on me emotionally, a strain on us financially, and Daddy-o is ALWAYS working. I am at a point where I just don't know what to do. Do I keep my building sub job? Do I go back into the general sub pool so I can get my name out there for more possible job opportunities? Do I try to find a totally different job? Should I try to find a way to make money from home, keep The Diva home, and cut the daycare expense which takes close to half my weekly salary? Will I ever teach again? I sure wish I had some answers.

This week I really hit rock bottom. I got news that I didn't get a teaching position I had interviewed for. I had thought that things had gone really well, but apparently not well enough. It is beyond frustrating. I have experience, excellent references, and confidence that I am a pretty darn good teacher. Putting myself out there and being rejected really bites. I am just not sure what my next move should be.

On a positive note, I have had some really good talks with God recently, and I have been able to turn my frustration off and focus on all the beautiful things that are present in my life. It is so easy to get caught up in the negatives, but in reality I am so blessed to have a loving husband, an amazing daughter, supportive family and friends, a place to live, a car to drive, food in my fridge and pantry, etc. I am just going to keep on keeping on.

Wordless Wednesday-Savoring Summer

2009-08-19T10:26:00.001-07:00

Foto Faces Friday

2009-08-14T03:07:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Berry Picking

2009-08-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

Diva's berries

Inspecting the goods

My favorite picture of the day- taking a break

Only the best for The Diva

Looking cool!

We went berry picking a few weeks ago and had the best time. The Diva really enjoyed looking for the perfect berries. She also managed to look pretty darn cute while picking. It was definitely one of my favorite family times this summer.

Foto Faces Friday-More Diva

2009-08-07T10:12:00.001-07:00

She's the silliest!

Foto Faces Friday

2009-07-31T11:22:00.000-07:00

I call this "If Lenny Kravitz and Macy Gray had a baby". I love my Diva! Happy Friday!

Big kid

2009-07-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

Athe park:

Me- Look at you Diva! You can pump your legs while you swing. You are such a big kid!
Diva- I know, I am a big kid!
Me- Where did my baby go?
Diva- I'm right here Mommy, I'm just growing up.

Four years ago today

2009-07-02T17:41:00.001-07:00

It was a beautiful Saturday. Picture perfect weather, seventy degrees and not a cloud in sky. As I got ready for my wedding day, everyone helping me to get ready kept commenting on how calm I was. Being the neurotic person I am, I thought for sure I would be a wreck on my wedding day. I wasn't. I was perfectly content and at ease with the fact that I was getting ready to stand before God and my loved ones and pledge my lifelong committment to my best friend. Marraige isn't always easy, but true love is well worth fighting for. Happy anniversary to my amazing husband, who always has my back and has given me two precious gifts-his love, and our amazing little girl. I love you baby!!!

Getting Away!

2009-06-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

Daddy-o and I are out of here! We are headed to Massachussets for a 30th birthday party. I am being reunited with my college peeps who I haven't seen in a year and a half. I miss them!!!!! These people know how to party, so this boring, working, mom is hoping she can keep up. I will probably be stifling yawns come 9 p.m.. The Diva is going to be having a blast with Grammy and Grandpa for the weekend. I already miss The Diva, but in the long run this weekend is well deserved by all. Except maybe Grammy and Grandpa, who may be exhausted after 48 non-stop Diva hours!

Wet and Wild

2009-06-24T07:22:00.001-07:00

The Diva has turned over a new leaf! In the past, she was really hesitant about being in the water. She was super nervous, really clingy, and sometimes hysterical. I was floored when I took her to the pool yesterday and she was such a brave little thing! She now enjoys dunking herself underwater, and she is really good at holding her breath properly, without any coaching. She is like a new kid and I just think it is so great. We had the best time! She is super excited about the swim lessons that she is signed up for later this summer.
Testing out the really shallow end!

On her way under!

One happy girl!!

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

This man is an amazing father (and I happen to think he's pretty cute too!)! The Diva and I are so lucky to have him! Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

Night time is the right time

2009-06-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

For freaking out! The Diva has suddenly developed a fear of sleeping in her room. Her nice, clean, organized, happy, pink room (I worked really hard on this!). Now she is afraid of the sound her fish make in their tank (they do kind of act they are on crack), afraid of her clock (I took it down), afraid to leave the closet door open, afraid certain dolls are "looking at her funny". I really don't know what to do. I spend time reassuring her, but lately every night SOMETHING is scary. She has also been having very vivid nightmares. One of Daddy-o's cousins told me that from age 3-8 this was a common occurence. Being a mom, I just want to take those fears away. Shall this too pass?

Moving on

2009-06-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

Last night my Aunt called to invite us to a Father's Day picnic. She also dropped the bomb that my grandfather is dating someone. My Gram passed away a year and a half ago, and I guess it's inevitable that people do move on. I don't want my Papa to be lonely, and it sounds like he is taking it slow, but it still just forces more of the reality of death. One more concrete fact that reminds me that my Gram is gone. Sometimes life really hurts.

Inappropriate word?

2009-06-15T04:38:00.000-07:00

Daddy-o thinks funky is an inappropriate word. He says he got in trouble for using it when he was younger. I see nothing wrong with funky. Thoughts? Opinions? Discuss! Or at the very least leave some sort of comment so I know I am not blogging in vain. Pretty please?

Coming back to bite me

2009-06-12T03:42:00.000-07:00

So, while I think the "Pretty on the inside" conversation hit home, The Diva has also figured out how to turn it around on me.

Diva: Mommy you smell stinky. (I swear I don't!)
Me: Diva, that is not a very nice thing to say.
Diva: Well, I am feeling ugly on the inside.

It never ends with this kid.

Today

2009-06-11T03:47:00.001-07:00

Is the last day of school. My summer job doesn't officially start until the end of June, so I get a little stay-cation. Since I have to pay for daycare whether Diva goes or not, I am thinking these days will be a combo of Mommy-Diva days, and Save Mommy's Sanity Days. I have a hard time sending Diva to daycare when I am not working. I cherish my time with her so much, but I have come to the realization that I am still a person, not just Diva's mommy. Sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I need to get things done. And I don't have to feel guilty about these things. I am still working on the feeling guilty part, but I need to take breaks where I can get them, since Daddy-o's work schedule doesn't provide me with much Diva help. I'm planning on applying for more jobs, hopefully going on some interviews (God willing), and going to the gym and a reasonable hour instead of 4:40 am. I am also looking into swim lessons for Diva, and other fun, exciting, summer opportunities for the two of us. This summer there are some really cool things going on in our little city. Right now the annual Jazz Fest is going on, and while there are some great concerts you can pay to see, there are also tons of opportunities for listening to great, free music. The Diva and I got a little taste downtown yesterday and we loved it. She danced her little feet off. Here's to a great summer!

Pretty On the Inside

2009-06-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in forever. Life has gotten in the way, and I am going to try to get back into the swing of things. My job is winding down and I will have some down time until my summer job starts up. I am teaching summer school and will have a class of kindergartners heading to first grade. I am really excited about it, and trying not to get too down about the fact that I haven't found a classroom teaching job for next year yet. I want to be teaching again so badly that it hurts. Really, it hurts. I just keep on keeping on though, in the hopes that something will pan out.

This morning The Diva came with me to the laundry room. This is something she loves to do, but that usually makes more work for me. She was a pretty big help today though, and I only had to lay down the law 1 or 2 times, which is good! While I was folding laundry, she asked me, Mommy, what does pretty on the inside mean?. I don't know where she got the term, but I welcomed the opportunity to explain it to her and we had a really great conversation . I think she really gets it. Now that she gets it, I think it will really help in explaining why we shouldn't behave in certain ways. It truly was a teachable moment.

The Diva's first portrait of me

2009-05-09T15:23:00.000-07:00

You have to look closely, since she did it in purple crayon. This is me. I never realized I had such stiff, widespread lips, or such vacant eyes. I think I am pretty creepy looking, but I adore it. Even the arm jutting out of the side of my head is perfection!

Not helping

2009-05-05T14:51:00.000-07:00

My baby fever is not being helped by EVERYONE asking us when we will have another, or telling us we need to have another right now. It is also not being helped by The Diva telling anyone who will listen that she is getting a baby brother. Or a baby sister. She alternates between the two while telling her tall tale. Then I have to explain that I am not pregnant, while people (often strangers) eye my stomach.

Tired of that unwanted belly hair?

2009-04-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

Just shave it! A conversation from my bathroom at 6:00 a.m., while Daddy-o was shaving his face.

The Diva: Daddy what are you doing?
Daddy-o- I'm shaving, I'm taking the hair off.
The Diva: Are you going to shave your belly too?

I was in the bedroom in hysterics, which irritated Daddy-o and prompted the Diva to come ask me why I was laughing and if she said something that was silly. I told her no, I was just in a laughing mood.

When television as a babysitter goes wrong

2009-04-23T08:41:00.001-07:00

I am far from perfect. I would like to think I am a pretty good mom. I give The Diva lots of love, nurturing, she's fed, clean, hair taken care of. I encourage her to try new things, wipe her tears away when she is sad, provide her with a variety of age appropriate activities, laugh at her jokes, gently discipline as needed-you get the idea.

I will be the first to admit that tv is watched in our house. The Diva is a fan of tv. I limit it, but sometimes tv really does help me to accomplish around the house tasks. Such as dinner. I let The Diva watch a television program while I prepare dinner. Usually something pre-recorded on the dvr (Word World, Between the Lions) or something on Noggin. The Diva likes Max and Ruby. Even though I find Ruby to be a horrendous nag, I let The Diva watch it. So, when Daddy-0 turned on Max and Ruby for Diva and left the room, and then left the house, I thought everything was fine. Until I heard my little girl scream a terrified scream. I thought she was hurt. I went running to her as she came running to me. Apparently Daddy-o paid no attention to the tv channel and only to the show. He saw Max and Ruby, and turned it on. It wasn't on Noggin, it was on Nickelodeon. Big difference. When M and R ended, Sponge Bob came on. The Diva didn't let me know, even though she doesn't typically watch those shows. Her curiosity got the best of her. As I held her in my lap and wiped her tears (which according to her when she retells the story were "dripping off her face") she told me that Patrick ( a character on the show unzipped his body and there was a gorilla inside and the gorilla put everyone in a bag. Scary right? I reassured my girl that it was pretend, and told her I was sorry the show scared her. She seemed better.

That night as she was falling asleep, she called out to me and asked what we were made of. I gave her a brief, accurate, 3 year old friendly answer and she went to sleep.

Fast forward to the next afternoon. I am in the bathroom and The Diva comes barging in, as usual. She knocks on her ribs and says, "Mommy, what are these?" I explain ribs and their function, and show her that I have them too. She then says, "Yes, but I have a monkey living inside here." Then it hit me. Stupid Sponge Bob. I tried to reassure her that the show was pretend and there was no monkey living behind her ribcage. She wasn't really buying it and I still think she wonders. She has also told EVERYONE we see about the show and how scary it was. I feel awful. I googled the info she gave me, and sure enough, the show in question was about a gorilla dressed up like Patrick, who rips off the costume to reveal his true identity and sticks people in a bag. What a horrible mother I felt like, knowing that letting her watch tv without me in the room has traumatized her. Hopefully one of these days I will get her to believe there isn't really a monkey taking up residence in her body. Parenting is tough stuff!

7 am question

2009-04-22T04:42:00.000-07:00

"Mommy, if these are arm pits (ponting to underarm) then why don't we call behind our knees leg pits?"

Knockers

2009-04-13T15:35:00.001-07:00

I was just helping The Diva out of her shirt, and her hair elastics bumped up against eachother, so I said, "Nice knockers." Daddy-o couldn't see us, but could only hear me. He exclaimed, "What did you just say to her?" I had to explain to him that I was talking about her hair accessories. You know the ones, with the giant balls on the ends that hook together=knockers. It just so happened that the Diva was topless when I commented on them. Oops!

Easter Bunny Surprises

2009-04-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

In the car on the way home from work/school today The Diva brought up the Easter Bunny. If you read my blog entry about Santa, you know I'm not so good with these types. You know, Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy. I just feel caught between a rock and a hard place. This was a funny conversation though. I love getting a peak into how the Diva's mind works.

Diva: Does the Easter Bunny come to our house?
Me: Yeah, sure he does. (note to self- find out Easter Bunny's gender)
Diva: What does the Easter Bunny do when he comes to our house?
Me: Well, he will come and fill your Easter basket with some surprises.
Diva: Like sticks? And water?
Me: Well, no, umm, I think they are different surprises, you know, like treats.
Diva: But if the Easter Bunny put sticks and water in my Easter basket, I WOULD be surprised Mommy!!!

Play that funky music

2009-04-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

The Diva got a harmonica when Grammy and Grandpa went to D.C. last month. She's lovin' it! It's not my favorite sound in the world, but I admire her enthusiasm.Don't you just love it when people buy your children loud musical instruments? Don't you?

Sunshine

2009-03-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

The Diva and I had a spectacular day yesterday. Daddy-o had to work, but Diva and I soaked up the sunshine and played to our hearts' content! Hooray for Spring!

Warm Fuzzy

2009-03-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy, and not just because I just finished a large glass of chardonnay. My 31st birthday is coming to an end. It's been a nice, easy, relaxing kind of day. It started with snow, which wasn't my idea of a Spring birthday surprise. However, it quickly melted and the sun hung out all day. A book I was waiting for arrived at the library, so I picked it up. My mom and step-dad came over bearing gifts. I had a long talk with my sister-in-law, who I miss dearly. The Diva made me a beautiful sticker picture featuring a one-armed princess. Daddy-o loaded my MP3 player with tons of awesome break out in a sweat music and got me a fantastic water bottle. He says I have another present coming, but really the water bottle and music were all I asked for. We dined on Chinese take-out and Daddy-O got me a tasty ice cream cake. The Diva insisted on wearing a dress to my "party". It was just the three of us. She was so passionate about singing "Happy Birthday" that I cried real tears.

We were eating the ice cream cake, which was chocolate and vanilla. The Diva looked at the cake on her plate, pointed to the chocolate ice cream and said, "This part is brown like me and Daddy, and the other part is just like Mommy." An interesting observation. I think I need a spray tan or something. While I am pretty pasty, I don't think I am quite that vanilla.

I feel so blessed to have been able to have such a chill, laid back birthday and to celebrate it with my favorite people, who have showered me with love and affection, as they do most days. Except for days when The Diva is being insane and Daddy-O is making me want to drink. Happy Sunday!

Challenging

2009-03-21T02:12:00.000-07:00

The Diva has become very challenging. She testing boundaries left and right, is prone to tantrums and is driving me a bit mad. I love her, I do. She is a sweet child (most of the time). However, I am about at my wits end with the fits. We are being consistent (we always try to be), and sometimes I fear that this isn't just a phase, but that my daughter is going to permanently be a full fledged Veruca Salt. It's a scary thought. Three is proving to be harder than age 2. At 2, The Diva went through the whole "Mine" phase, but with her own unique style. When she does something, she does it big. I could barely take her out in public because she would harrass innocent bystanders. As I pushed the shopping cart through the store, she would say to shoppers, "This is MY MILK!", or "This is MY WALMART!" It was embarrassing, but it passed, with a lot of work on my part. But will this too pass? Sometimes I worry. The Diva appears to be pretty intelligent, which works in her favor when she wants to be horrid. She knows just what to do.

Dinner time has been one of our most recent combat zones. She pushes buttons like there's no tomorrow and proclaims that she doesn't like whatever it is I am serving. She has had a time out or ten during dinner time.

Here's a sample of some pre-dinner testing of my patience/sanity:
The Diva: What are we having for dinner
Me: Sloppy Joes and Mac and Cheese (Don't judge me, we eat plenty of healthy meals)
The Diva: I don't like Sloppy Joes and Mac and Cheese (She's lying, she loves the Mac!), I'm going to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Me: No Diva, you're not. This is not a restaurant, you are going to eat what Mommy and Daddy are having.
The Diva: Yes it is a restaurant. And I'm the customer.

Daddy-O and I just looked it each other. I reaffirmed that there would be no peanut butter and jelly served. But I swear, she knows just what she is doing and how to get to me. I am fearful for the teenage years and am hoping to get through the preschool years without producing a terror. I love The Diva, but man.....

Randoms

2009-03-15T09:39:00.001-07:00

It is a beautiful day today and The Diva and I spent a big chunk of time at the park. I am hopeful that spring is really coming, and it's not just a vicious rumor.

The Diva told me she had to use the bathroom, and then snuck off and climbed in bed for a nap. I guess the park did her in.

The Diva seems to be feeling a lot better, hence our trip to the park. We have a follow up appointment with her Dr. tomorrow. Of course it's dead smack in the middle of the morning, making my day crazy, but at least we have a proactive Dr. who wants to check on her progress.

Daddy-O has been really irritating me more often than not this past week. I love him but he is really testing that love right now.

I will be 31 in one week and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Surprisingly I love going to the gym, even at 4:45 am.

I've become addicted to placing holds on books I want to read at the library, and then stalking my account page to see if I have jumped up in line at all.

I'm thinking about purchasing a kettlebell.

Last night I went to a girl's night with my mom at my step-father's ex-wife's house. The Diva is going to be in her wedding in May. That's how we roll. When my mom dropped me off at home, she waited until I got in the house to drive away. It reminded me that I'm still somebody's little girl.

I've thanked God several times today for such a beautiful relaxing Sunday.

The Diva is sick

2009-03-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

Another ear infection and once again her asthma is out of control. She just had a terrible attack, and when she has them I swear I stop breathing. To hear her wheeze and gasp for air destroys me. To see the look of panic on her face and not be able to set her at ease immediately kills me. She is now lying down, resting because she is wiped out from trying to breathe. I just needed to come blog it out of my system.

My personal trainer and my dietician

2009-03-07T05:51:00.000-08:00

First of all, I don't have a real personal trainer. But for some reason Ludacris is my new motivator. It seems that whenever I feel I can't go much further and am ready to hit the stop button on the treadmill, Luda makes an appearance in my ear buds. And suddenly, I am ready to keep going. It's weird and amazing.

Secondly, The Diva has taken to putting four grapes in a Ziploc baggie when I go to work out. Then, when I get back, she takes them out and stands over me while I eat them. It's another weird occurrence, since I have no idea why she does this. I am trying to be healthy, but isn't four grapes a little skimpy? She means business.

That's what friends are for

2009-03-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

My dearest friend has a personal trainer, so she invited me to her gym with her today so she can show me what her personal trainer has shown her. I have worked out for three days in a row now, which might not seem like a lot, but when your butt hasn't done much moving, three days of exercise=pain. So, I emailed Dear Friend, and told her maybe I wasn't feeling it. After all, I did go to my own gym this morning. I asked for a rain check. Guess what her reply was?

"No. You can not take a rain check. You have to come with me."

So guess where I'll be in an hour? Bringin' on the pain! I'm so glad I have a friend who doesn't let me take the easy way out. I'm sure I'll be thanking and cursing her this evening!

Oops!

2009-03-04T03:49:00.000-08:00

My alarm went of at 4:45 am. I hopped out of bed, got my workout gear on, brushed my teeth, splashed some water on my face and headed out the door. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill and was feeling awake and refreshed. I finished my workout, then went into the locker room to get ready to leave. I went to use the bathroom and...... realized I wasn't wearing any underwear. (Sorry if this is too much information!). How the heck can a person FORGET to wear underwear? Come on! And that is exactly what I did. Somehow in my sleepiness/eagerness to get to the gym I made an unconscious decision to go commando. I'm such a freak.

Overcoming anxiety and workin' on my fitness!

2009-03-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

So, I joined Planet Fitness! Yay me right? Except for the fact that I joined Planet Fitness online, on Martin Luther King Day. I had yet to actually go and use my membership. I wanted to, really I did. But I've got issues. Not issues with working out, not issues with what people think of me, but issues with actually going to the gym for the first time. I get major anxiety over things I do for the first time. It's ridiculous and kind of all consuming. Today I finally sucked it up and went, and the world didn't come to an end. I just did some cardio while losing myself in some old school rap on my mp3 player, and I felt so great when I got done. I am hoping to get into a routine of going at least every week day. It's going to require some real discipline on my part, since the only time that works for me to go without worrying about The Diva is the absolute crack of dawn. Actually, slightly before dawn. We'll see how it goes.

Happy Dance in the Diaper Aisle

2009-03-02T13:42:00.001-08:00

This morning I did some grocery shopping-all by myself! It was nice for a change to be able to roam through the grocery store without anyone making demands on me. I walked through to diaper aisle to cut over to the meat section. I took a second to rejoice in the fact that for know I don't have to make any purchases in the diaper aisle. The Diva potty trained and started wearing underwear shortly after her 2nd birthday. Now, not long after her 3rd birthday, we have graduated to underwear at night. I love not having to clean up a urine soaked child and deal with a smelly pull-up anymore, but the first week of "Operation Panties for Bedtime" I developed insomnia. I was seriously stressing over whether or not The Diva would wet the bed. I am still a little apprehensive when I hear her little voice let me know she is up each morning, but this is a milestone I am happy The Diva has reached.

Drop In Art

2009-02-27T08:59:00.001-08:00

This morning The Diva and I went to a drop-in art session downtown. It was our last day of vacation together (my last two vacation days next week will be Mama's Alone Time). The place is great, there were painting, collage making, and clay activities going on, and The Diva tried them all. We had a fabulous time, my only negative is that it seems these drop ins only occur on weekdays; a bummer for a working mom. Below is The Diva working on a mural. Hooray for art!

Klepto

2009-02-26T08:45:00.001-08:00

If you are missing anything, chances are you'll find it in The Diva's Rose Petal Cottage. It seems that things in our house that have "mysteriously disappeared" are ending up there. Little thief.

New pets

2009-02-23T04:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I suggested to Daddy-o that maybe we should get The Diva a fish. This was sort of a bad idea. Not the fish part, but the telling Daddy-o part. I should have mapped out a clear plan for the purchase of a pet fish. Daddy-o is one of the most impulsive people I know. He also thinks big. He takes a simple idea and makes in ginormous (and expensive). I thought getting a fish for The Diva would mean a bowl, a plant, some rocks, some food and a betta. Daddy-o had other plans. As soon as I suggested the purchase, he was urging me to get ready so we could go fish shopping. Then he got on the computer and found the tank he wanted to buy. I had no plans for a tank. Again, bowl + fish= good enough for me. The Diva would have thought it was just as cool. She's three. Then, we had to hurry off to Walmart to purchase the tank. The Diva had her eye on a kid friendly Sesame Street tank ( I was routing for her, it was cheaper), but Daddy-o won out. Then we had to coordinate the rocks and the accessories. Finally, we got to the actual fish buying part. The Diva picked two fish, and named them Goldie ( I am a little disappointed in her lack of creativity), and Maddy. For a minute she wanted to name one of them "Jude", but then changed her mind. I was hoping Jude would stick, as proof of my rubbing a love of The Beatles off on her. No such luck. When we got home Daddy-o immediately went to work on assembling his tank. I mean, The Diva's tank. I told The Diva I was going to keep the fish in the kitchen while we waited for their new home. To which she replied, "Are you making fish stew?" What was disturbing about this for me was that she said it so calmly. As if she didn't care if I made her new pets our dinner. Goldie and Maddy are now living happily in their tank in The Diva's room. They are safe from becoming fish stew. The Diva is loving feeding them and watching their fishy actions. All is well in The Diva house.