Tired of that unwanted belly hair?

Just shave it! A conversation from my bathroom at 6:00 a.m., while Daddy-o was shaving his face.

The Diva: Daddy what are you doing?
Daddy-o- I'm shaving, I'm taking the hair off.
The Diva: Are you going to shave your belly too?

I was in the bedroom in hysterics, which irritated Daddy-o and prompted the Diva to come ask me why I was laughing and if she said something that was silly. I told her no, I was just in a laughing mood.

When television as a babysitter goes wrong

I am far from perfect. I would like to think I am a pretty good mom. I give The Diva lots of love, nurturing, she's fed, clean, hair taken care of. I encourage her to try new things, wipe her tears away when she is sad, provide her with a variety of age appropriate activities, laugh at her jokes, gently discipline as needed-you get the idea.

I will be the first to admit that tv is watched in our house. The Diva is a fan of tv. I limit it, but sometimes tv really does help me to accomplish around the house tasks. Such as dinner. I let The Diva watch a television program while I prepare dinner. Usually something pre-recorded on the dvr (Word World, Between the Lions) or something on Noggin. The Diva likes Max and Ruby. Even though I find Ruby to be a horrendous nag, I let The Diva watch it. So, when Daddy-0 turned on Max and Ruby for Diva and left the room, and then left the house, I thought everything was fine. Until I heard my little girl scream a terrified scream. I thought she was hurt. I went running to her as she came running to me. Apparently Daddy-o paid no attention to the tv channel and only to the show. He saw Max and Ruby, and turned it on. It wasn't on Noggin, it was on Nickelodeon. Big difference. When M and R ended, Sponge Bob came on. The Diva didn't let me know, even though she doesn't typically watch those shows. Her curiosity got the best of her. As I held her in my lap and wiped her tears (which according to her when she retells the story were "dripping off her face") she told me that Patrick ( a character on the show unzipped his body and there was a gorilla inside and the gorilla put everyone in a bag. Scary right? I reassured my girl that it was pretend, and told her I was sorry the show scared her. She seemed better.

That night as she was falling asleep, she called out to me and asked what we were made of. I gave her a brief, accurate, 3 year old friendly answer and she went to sleep.

Fast forward to the next afternoon. I am in the bathroom and The Diva comes barging in, as usual. She knocks on her ribs and says, "Mommy, what are these?" I explain ribs and their function, and show her that I have them too. She then says, "Yes, but I have a monkey living inside here." Then it hit me. Stupid Sponge Bob. I tried to reassure her that the show was pretend and there was no monkey living behind her ribcage. She wasn't really buying it and I still think she wonders. She has also told EVERYONE we see about the show and how scary it was. I feel awful. I googled the info she gave me, and sure enough, the show in question was about a gorilla dressed up like Patrick, who rips off the costume to reveal his true identity and sticks people in a bag. What a horrible mother I felt like, knowing that letting her watch tv without me in the room has traumatized her. Hopefully one of these days I will get her to believe there isn't really a monkey taking up residence in her body. Parenting is tough stuff!

7 am question

"Mommy, if these are arm pits (ponting to underarm) then why don't we call behind our knees leg pits?"

Knockers

I was just helping The Diva out of her shirt, and her hair elastics bumped up against eachother, so I said, "Nice knockers." Daddy-o couldn't see us, but could only hear me. He exclaimed, "What did you just say to her?" I had to explain to him that I was talking about her hair accessories. You know the ones, with the giant balls on the ends that hook together=knockers. It just so happened that the Diva was topless when I commented on them. Oops!

Easter Bunny Surprises

In the car on the way home from work/school today The Diva brought up the Easter Bunny. If you read my blog entry about Santa, you know I'm not so good with these types. You know, Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy. I just feel caught between a rock and a hard place. This was a funny conversation though. I love getting a peak into how the Diva's mind works.

Diva: Does the Easter Bunny come to our house?
Me: Yeah, sure he does. (note to self- find out Easter Bunny's gender)
Diva: What does the Easter Bunny do when he comes to our house?
Me: Well, he will come and fill your Easter basket with some surprises.
Diva: Like sticks? And water?
Me: Well, no, umm, I think they are different surprises, you know, like treats.
Diva: But if the Easter Bunny put sticks and water in my Easter basket, I WOULD be surprised Mommy!!!

Play that funky music

The Diva got a harmonica when Grammy and Grandpa went to D.C. last month. She's lovin' it! It's not my favorite sound in the world, but I admire her enthusiasm.Don't you just love it when people buy your children loud musical instruments? Don't you?