Tuesday, June 29, 2010

It's been awhile

Between life and a crappy computer, I haven't had time in a while to update my blog. I am hoping our computer situation will improve soon, and I will be able to squeeze some more blogging in while I keep on truckin' through this thing called life.

I am back in the job hunting jungle, and things have been looking pretty bleak. I am trying to think positively, trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, trying to keep my faith. All of these things are hard, when the date of your last known paycheck is fast approaching.

We've also been going through some growing pains with the Diva. At least, I'd like to think of them as growing pains, and I hope that things will improve. A lot of the time lately, I question my abilities to be a great mom, because things are just so darn challenging. The Diva is so darn challenging. I've always admired how bright The Diva is, how quick she is with a witty response, how perceptive she is. Now it seems that all of those things are working against me. She's sassy, she's bossy, and sometimes she's manipulative and downright rude. I LOVE MY DAUGHTER. I love her with more intensity than I ever thought existed. But, she is wearing me out. I keep reminding myself that her persistence and strong will are traits that will be helpful to her as an adult. However, in the here and now, I am tired. I am tired of power struggles, and I am tired of having to defend each and every one of my decisions with her. Perhaps she'll have a great career as a lawyer some day, but as her mom, sometimes I just want an easy day sometimes. I've checked several books out of the library recently, including Raising Your Spirited Child. If ever there was a spirited child, Diva fits the bill. I am reading some interesting things, but honestly I am also reading some of it thinking, "Sure, in a perfect world that would work, but I don't see it working here." Sometimes I miss those days of reading books like What to Expect the First Year. Now there was a book that seemed to outline things pretty clearly. I don't think a how to manual exists for a strong willed, extremely bright, completely exhausting 4 year old. We'll just keep playing it by ear.

Now that I've done my venting, I'd like to close with the POSITIVE things about my daughter. Because while I've just done a lot of griping, she's still my girl, and she brings me so much joy. Currently, The Diva has just started a summer dance class that she loves. Dancing and making up songs (really long songs that often change topic several times) are two of her favorite activities. She's also mastered the hula hoop and is now trying to teach her self to hula hoop with three hula hoops at a time, and to walk and hula hoop at the same time. The Diva has also become kind of obsessed with writing. She loves writing the words she knows, spelling and writing new words, and labeling her pictures. Recently one morning, she asked me how to spell Lady Gaga while we were riding in the car. That night, I found a piece of paper with Lady Gaga written all over it. I blame my teenage siblings for her even knowing who Lady Gaga is. The Diva is sensitive and loving, helpful and compassionate.She is inquisitive and a deep thinker. I am really proud to be her mom!


greygillfish said...

Glad to have you back!

I had been experiencing a lot of the same headaches with a strong willed girl myself. It got so bad about 6 months ago, that I considered counseling for us. GiGi is a good kid too, but argues with every decision and has to have things done her way or ELSE. "The else" is not always so pleasant. I finally talked to her school teacher and then we both sat down and talked to GiGi together about being respectful. I think it helped tremendously to hear the words come out of someone's mouth other than my own. From the time her teacher talked with her, her behavior has improved by leaps and bounds.

The funny thing is that every teacher tells me that she is the most repsectful, well behaved child as school. It makes me angry that she just buts heads with me. EERRR!

Maybe you should have someone else talk to the Diva as well. I really do feel your pain. I was in tears over this same behavior for several weeks, and felt like I was a horrible parent.

I guess I should have just e-mailed you instead of leaving this extra LONG comment. :)

Mama to a diva said...

Thank you for your comment (long or not!). It's nice to hear from someone who has experienced the same thing. Sometimes I feel like my child must be the ONLY one who flips out and can't get her act together. Thanks for the suggestion,having someone else talk to the Diva might be a really good idea!

MommyToTwoBoys said...

You are NOT alone girl! This is daily life over here. And now my little one is going through the terrible 2's! So double trouble! Some days I am literally pulling my hair out!

And my boys love Lady Gaga so don't worry. We blast it in the house and car all the time. Even the baby knows the words to her songs. They call her the "gaga lady."

Jenny said...

She sounds a lot like Acadia! I tell myself the same thing you do - that although it can be frustrating now, these traits will be good as an adult. It can be VERY trying though!

Shan said...

Hang in there. You'll both make it through the trying times. Figure out what boundaries are important to you and then talk with her about them when you're not in the midst of "the moment." I have found it's a lot easier to remind than to address. Corey and I have had hours and hours of conversations (many while driving from here to there) about what kind of person he'd like to be, about dating (*that* was a lifesaver when the first girlfriend popped up almost a year ago!), about expectations he has or that I have...

I am not trying to insinuate that these conversations have resolved everything in advance of major problems (hardly the case since he's got ADD/ADHD and a host of related issues). I am saying that laying things out when I'm calm and rational works better than when I'm peeved.

(Guess I had to jump in on the long response bandwagon, haha). In any case, it's good to hear from you again. I've been wondering how you're doing.