Saturday, January 10, 2009

Flashback to Pre-eclampsia

In the days leading up to my favorite girl's 3rd birthday, I am going to do some flashing back. Three years ago today was the day I was officially declared pre-eclamptic. It was the day I was put on strict bed rest, and the day I began to truly fear for my life and the life of my unborn baby girl. The ten days leading up to the Diva's birth were really hard. I will hash it out here, since writing it therapuetic and I have never really written a lot of this down. The day I was put on bed rest I had to do a non-stress test at the doctor's office. I was hooked up to the monitors, and Daddy-o couldn't be in the room with me, because there was another mom also being monitored. So Daddy-o sat in the waiting room communicating with me by cell phone. We had a conference call with his dad and his step-mom and his dad led us in prayer. It brought me comfort, but it just felt so surreal. While I had an inkling that something was wrong the week before, I wasn't prepared for it. I guess no one ever is really prepared for bad news, but it was like being hit with a truck. Being told I could no longer work when I had planned on working right up until I gave birth was my first hit. We were not financially prepared for it. That thought was put out of my mind quickly though, when my doctor told me off. She made me realize how serious my condition could get. ( I found out after The Diva's birth that my doctor had pre-eclampsia twice) The next hit was that my baby could now have to be delivered at any time. At this point we were just hitting 32 weeks. I was just getting over morning sickness. Now we were being told about lung development and NICU and specialists, comas, siezures, and death. We started blood pressure watch, which was torture for me and I think Daddy-o secretly enjoyed it, because he was really strict about it. By the time the Diva was born, my arms were raw and bruised from hourly blood pressure checks. That first day, they kept me around for a while trying to decide whether or not I should be admitted to the hospital. This would become a pattern over the next 10 days. They decided I could go home, and we did. I remember that day as the day I found pre-eclampsia in my copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" under "When something goes wrong". I was paralyzed with fear that something was going wrong. It was also the day "Hustle and Flow" came out on DVD. I made Daddy-o rent it for me in the hopes it would provide a distraction.


C. Beth said...

Wow--how scary! I'm so glad that The Diva is so healthy even though she was a preemie!

Shan said...

Ugh! Every mom-to-be's worst fear has to be finding themselves in *those* pages of that book. If only we could get to know that it will al be okay in the end.