Most likely no one is really wondering where I have gone. I have put up some wordless blogs recently, but my heart hasn't been in blogging. Until I realized that this is my blog, and I love to write, and maybe, just maybe writing would help. I've been in a pretty negative place for a while now. It is most definitely job related. I still have yet to find a full time classroom position, so back to subbing I go. I left a teaching job that I was perfectly happy with to make a different life for our family. The good news is, Daddy-o's work life is much more stable here. The bad news is, my career is non-exisitent at the moment, which puts a strain on me emotionally, a strain on us financially, and Daddy-o is ALWAYS working. I am at a point where I just don't know what to do. Do I keep my building sub job? Do I go back into the general sub pool so I can get my name out there for more possible job opportunities? Do I try to find a totally different job? Should I try to find a way to make money from home, keep The Diva home, and cut the daycare expense which takes close to half my weekly salary? Will I ever teach again? I sure wish I had some answers.
This week I really hit rock bottom. I got news that I didn't get a teaching position I had interviewed for. I had thought that things had gone really well, but apparently not well enough. It is beyond frustrating. I have experience, excellent references, and confidence that I am a pretty darn good teacher. Putting myself out there and being rejected really bites. I am just not sure what my next move should be.
On a positive note, I have had some really good talks with God recently, and I have been able to turn my frustration off and focus on all the beautiful things that are present in my life. It is so easy to get caught up in the negatives, but in reality I am so blessed to have a loving husband, an amazing daughter, supportive family and friends, a place to live, a car to drive, food in my fridge and pantry, etc. I am just going to keep on keeping on.